Hidden Faces
by Alba Aulbath
Summary: Two years after Dario's death, Karsh mourned... but kept it hidden. He would talk in the bar to a person, who hid his face as well, with so little known of him and an iron mask.


**Disclaimers and Useless/Useful Stuff To Know:**  
Don't own Chrono Cross. Never will. Wish I did.  
  
-=-=-  
**Hidden Faces**  
  
by the JINKIES!!! mind of Alba Aulbath [_berry@adelphia.net_]  
-=-=-  
  
  
It wasn't unusual to see him there, sitting back so casually; his legs would be propped up onto the table, crossed at the ankles, and his head leaned back just slightly as he drank scotch right out of the bottle. Empty glasses were scattered on the table, in which kudos was given to the man who made the table for being so steady as it was.  
  
Actually, it was quite typical to see him like that; it had been like this for just a couple of years after Dario's death. No one could comprehend the kind of pain that he felt. Late at night, away from the manor while everyone else should be sleeping, and that there so few patrons left in the bar to really notice him.  
  
After a few months of Dario's death had Zoah even come to realize that Karsh had been drinking himself rotten any night he could get the chance to. He wasn't sure if he ought to have protested it, as he didn't really know Karsh that well, or any of the others for that matter; Zoah had become a Deva to just do his duty and serve the public, do what he was told. Be a perfect soldier. Seeing how life just seem to burn out of Karsh, Riddel, Glenn, and even the General, Zoah had started wishing he knew them better to understand this.  
  
Once Zoah had discovered Karsh at the bar, he expected to be shooed off... instead, Karsh started talking to him.  
  
Zoah had started to get to him and the others better that way, just listening to Karsh's drunken babble, of memories in the childhood days and his feelings and how guilty he felt for Dario's death. Even though Zoah had decided to ask what had caused Dario's death, Karsh gave him a blank look and wouldn't give many details. Just that "a monster killed him". Understandingly, he sensed Karsh's guilty tone in his voice when he said so.  
  
At the moment, Karsh was there again, sitting back and letting himself drink down the scotch right from the bottle. He didn't say anything, and neither did Zoah once he took seat across from Karsh. It was almost a routine by then. Zoah would come, sit, listen to Karsh, and help the drunken fellow back to the manor (and leave a bucket by the bed for the morning results).  
  
Karsh didn't say anything right away. He put the bottle down next to an already empty one, slouching over and leaning onto the table quietly. Zoah folded his large hands onto the table, studying the other Deva for a moment, waiting for him to speak first. Despite his loud voice, Zoah rarely spoke much, especially during emotional times. He hardly become emotional himself, keeping much about himself concealed, really. His helmet was evident of that.  
  
"Still at it..." Karsh mumbled.  
  
Zoah said nothing in reply, due to confusion and finding nothing to really respond with.  
  
"Two years... still going at it..." Karsh rubbed his face. "I'm amazed, really. How do you put up with me?"  
  
"RATHER SURPRISED MYSELF."  
  
Karsh let out a sour laugh. "Yeah..." Despite how much he had downed so far, his speech was rather clear... but it was obvious that he was rather drunk.  
  
It was silent, and the only thing Karsh continued to do was attempt to finish his second bottle. It concerned Zoah a little, as usually by this point the axe-wielding man would start talking about something, usually related to Dario in some way.  
  
Karsh had waved over the waitress for a third bottle; despite his drowsy expression, she brought another over, considering he didn't appear very rude at all toward her.  
  
"...You know why I keep coming here, don't you?" Karsh eyed toward the larger man.  
  
"DARIO."  
  
"Right." Karsh sighed and bowed his head for a moment. "Dario..." He leaned back again to take in a gulp, then set the bottle down, smirking bitterly. "Dario..."  
  
Karsh stood up, one hand on the table to steady himself, as part of him at least realized he was drunk off his ass. "'Drink to forget.' So much for that... No matter how much I take down, I think of the same thing..."  
  
_And much more_, Zoah silently added. There were usually only two effects of being drunk: either you're completely out of your mind at that stage, or completely honest with yourself and others. For Karsh, it was typically the latter, talking on about how much he respected and cared about Dario and felt guilty for what happened, that somehow he should have been able to stop it.  
  
Although, for some reason, no matter how much Karsh took in alcohol, he would never speak of how precisely Dario died.  
  
"Zoah... say, Zoah..." Karsh had come over to the other Deva, leaning onto the table still. "Why do you... come here everytime I'm here?"  
  
"TO MAKE SURE YOU DO NOTHING TOO STUPID."  
  
Karsh blinked for a moment, then laughed a little, his tone somewhat bittersweet. He took another gulp from the bottle's contents. "Gee, thanks..."  
  
The lavender haired Deva stumbled a bit, moving nearer to Zoah before draping his free arm across the larger man's shoulders and leaned onto him, perhaps for support--who could tell with a drunk man? Zoah wasn't sure, but he was glad that he had enough control over himself to not be affected by this motion.  
  
"I've always... kinda wondered..." Karsh had to pause, as if he kept forgetting what he was going to say. The top of his bottle lightly tapped against the side of Zoah's helmet. "Whaddaya look like under that...?"  
  
"ANOTHER MAN."  
  
Karsh smirked a little, taking another swig. "Humor me," he requested.  
  
It was unlikely for Karsh to really remember, if Zoah were to take off the helmet. Karsh was so drunk and way too honest with what he was saying in front of Zoah, so the large Deva presumed it would be all right to take off his helmet, if only to satisfy Karsh's curiosity. Besides, it was rather hot inside of the helmet.  
  
Zoah undid the bands that held the helmet down, and slid it off.  
  
Suprisingly, Zoah's face was not bad looking at all; his face would be perfect, if not for the disfiguration of scars all over it. A vertical scar ran down his lips, a couple of others from both ends of his left eye, and a horizontal one crossing it. Another was on his forehead. Limp and sort of boring hair was shaggy on his head, but also flat, not really taken care of in the field of being cut; it was like it was cut by a knife rather than scissors. His hair was a dirty blonde, a bit dark, but light enough to be recognized as blonde.  
  
Karsh observed him, his eyes sort of half-closed and tired-looking, but he didn't seem phased much. He had set the bottle down onto the table, looking at Zoah intently for a moment, his fingers running over one of the scars. "...Izzat why you keep it on?"  
  
Zoah's voice, without the helmet on, was softer spoken, but still deep. "Yes." With the helmet on, he HAD to speak loudly to be heard, and what was more was that it echoed his voice, so he was generally very loud.  
  
"Nobody would care."  
  
"Nobody as in who?" Zoah commented stiffly.  
  
"Well..." Karsh trailed off. "I wouldn't anyhow... or... um... Riddel... Glenn..." It seemed like he was having a hard time remembering names by that point.  
  
"Don't bother. I don't like showing my face," Zoah explained simply. Just as you don't like showing yours, he commented silently.  
  
"You showed it to me. You must like me," Karsh remarked. He was seemingly unable to really stand on his own, so his other arm went around Zoah's neck to steady himself. If Zoah had been embarrassed by this, he didn't reveal it, or at least Karsh was too drunk to notice.  
  
Zoah had only gotten to know Karsh by letting him jabber on, drunk, because he was open and honest with him that way. Karsh knew that Zoah would be around during the time, but the morning after he'd never really remember what exactly he'd say, and Zoah would refuse to tell him what was said. So, to say that Zoah liked him, perhaps. Were they friends? They were partners, but that was as far as what was really **said**.  
  
"Maybe," Zoah summarized for Karsh.  
  
"Goodie," he muttered back, sounding tired and sad again. "...What happened to your face...?"  
  
"Nothing you should have to be worried about," Zoah droned, definitely not wanting to talk about it.  
  
Karsh winced a little. "...Sorry..."  
  
Zoah gave him sort of a look. "You did nothing to cause damage to my face."  
  
Karsh's gaze had lowered, though. Guilt had been written onto his features and he was deeply depressed. "...Scared... I'm scared..." He shivered a bit. "It was my fault... and I'm scared... I ruined everything... how could I have...?"  
  
Zoah stared at him for a moment. "...What happened in the Isle of the Damned?" he prompted.  
  
Karsh shook his head and collapsed from Zoah, burying his face into the larger Deva's lap. "I can't...! And... I..." He trembled badly, a sob or two escaping him. Not ever normally would he cry in front of anyone, and Zoah was glad that the only one other than themselves that were there was the barmaid, and she was probably used to drunks crying over something. "It's my fault... all my fault... I ruined it..."  
  
Zoah looked down, a small frown creasing. He then reluctantly place his large hand onto the top of Karsh's head, lightly patting it as the other Deva sobbed. Zoah made no other assurance, unsure of what precisely to say. He had no idea of what happened on the isle, and it certainly bothered Karsh this much.  
  
Yet, it seemed enough, as after awhile, Karsh calmed and remained in his position; a quiet sniff would come from him, and all Zoah could find that he was able to do was to pat the other Deva on the head.  
  
"That was Glenn's last family member..." Karsh's voice was quiet. "Riddel's fiancè... my..." He just stopped and sigh wearily, staying where he was. Zoah didn't seem to react to it, but it was a little unsettling; the larger man had no idea how well he could possibly comfort someone who had been grieving a friend's loss for two years.  
  
Dario wasn't someone particularly close to Zoah; a fellow Deva, a skilled warrior, a noble man... Zoah himself had only done what he did based upon the orders given to him. He never liked to reveal much about himself, but everyone seemed to just know Dario, that his father died and was someone not to be trifled with; everyone's shining sun.  
  
As a matter of fact, Zoah only really began to know Dario better after his death, by listening to Karsh. In that respect, he began to really begin to know Karsh as well, amongst Lady Riddel and Glenn. Zoah began to really know how they were just... so different, as far as they were from each other and himself alike. As a matter of fact... everyone was functioning and acting formed around different things.  
  
This too applied to the Devas. While Dario was thoroughly admired and just glowed for the people, he acted based upon practical morals and nobility. Marcy operated her missions simply because she was raised that way by the General and Luccia alike. Zoah himself chose to be a dragoon and a Deva for different reasons, and acted as he did only because that was what was expected and asked of him. Karsh most of all had to be entirely different, and chose to do what he did because of his emotions, although he never admitted it; Zoah had figured it out from listening to him so much and watching him during this period of grief.  
  
Of course, all of this was just speculation from what Zoah learned from Karsh's drunken mouth, and generally watching them all. As loud as he was with the helmet on when he spoke, Zoah didn't speak that often overall.  
  
He looked down at the resting Karsh, taking a moment. "...Do you want to go back to the manor?" Zoah inquired him. Karsh shifted his head a little in sort of a nod, which was enough for Zoah.  
  
The large man placed his helmet back on, then helped Karsh to his feet; the axe-wielding man didn't try much to stand up, leaning mostly against the other Deva for support. Zoah began back for the manor after placing some gold onto the table.  
  
So it would be back to the manor, helping Karsh to his bed, and leaving a bucket for him all over again. And Zoah expected another night of grief soon after this one. Which was all fine by him, really; no one but the barmaid really knew the hidden mourning Karsh was displaying at the bar. It was sort of a nice little secret...  
  
And perhaps Zoah was a little uneasy with the idea of losing his only way to know Karsh. Were they friends? Maybe. Partners, that much was a given. But somehow within, he felt glad to get to know his fellow Deva, despite the ways unhealthy for Karsh overall.  
  
Glenn and Riddel mourned knowingly, but Karsh rather keep it hidden.  
  
Zoah was a little more familiar with that than one would think, really; after all, he hid plenty about himself, and it wasn't just the helmet.  
  
"Same time again tomorrow?" Karsh muttered tiredly, Zoah helping him sit down onto the bed.  
  
"YES."  
  
Karsh seemed to almost smile, laying down. The moment his head hit the pillow, he was out.  
  
Zoah couldn't feel better about that, as he knew just how Karsh slept.  
  
"Do you know?" he mentioned once. "The best dreams I have now are the ones where I die and he gets to come back."  
  
_I don't think I would have known you if you didn't_, Zoah thought.  
  
The Deva then left for his own room, to wait for the next night.  
  
  
-=-=-  
  
Erm... yes. Depressing... It was based on a Role Play I had done with Uftaki, actually. The RP was actually something a lot different in terms of why Karsh got drunk and who he was talking to. ^^; But it certainly inspired this. Yay. Woo. You know, Zoah is actually pretty interesting... he needs more fanfics. *firm nod* I think he's becoming a fave of mine. ^_^; Dernnit...  
  
Zoah with helmet off: ****  
  
Actually, there was shading, but somehow the scars and the shading of the skin became one colored. Frickin' flash program. @_@;  
  
---  
Alba Aulbath  
_berry@adelphia.net_  



End file.
